EK4D: Is Scarlett Johansson The Sexiest Woman in the World?
Posted on Mar 28th, 2006
by 
~C4Chaos
~C4Chaos
via Heckler Spray:
So, is Scarlett Johansson officially the Sexiest Woman In The World?
i say w00t! but for me, more sexy is my distant Dakini.
...
So, is Scarlett Johansson officially the Sexiest Woman In The World?
i say w00t! but for me, more sexy is my distant Dakini.
...
Access: PublicTagged with: Sexiest Woman in The World, Scarlett Johansson, FHM, Pop Culture, EK4D, evil, koan, Distant Dakini, sexy, women, Daine Hamilton is sexy, Diane Hamilton, Natalie Portman, gorgeous bald head, serenity, Jessica Alba, Geisha, makeup, Asian babes rule, Hatsumomo, karaoke, lumps, humps, UNICRON, Tibetan-style debate, Coffee Cooler, ZPod:KB101, Optimus Megaphone, ~W!, Clever Hans, horse, Dandy, ~myDakini, brokeback, google, Scott Adams, dilbert, Dilbert Blog, Magic Pizza ala Brondu, Big Mind, controller, Little Ninjai, Dork Tower, iwet, ass, donkey, jon kabat-zinn, Brondu, Matthew, ~C4Chaos, ~C4無秩åº, dilberito, Stacey's Cafe, BLASPHEMY, SACRILEGE, UBERMAN, UBERMAN sucks!, Basic Instinct, Catherine Trammell, Sharon Stone, Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, dzogchen, The View, hollywood, mud wrestling, tweety bird, martial arts, Brokeback Mountain, Brokeback Mountain 2, KGB agent, SNL, Saturday Night Live, comdey, NBC, rapper, Classy Thug
I don't even know who SJ is! Whatever.
There is nothing koanic about this question: She totally is. The truth comes out: In my junvenility I am smitten. I’m allowed to be smitten. Because, uh, I gave myself permission. So I will take no guff. Sass I will take. Guff, please hold. That is all.
Brian David.
Matthew said: “I don't even know who SJ is! Whatever.”
that statement says a lot about you.
For your information, I have never played D&D, and for more of your information, who gives a shit about Scarlett Pimpernell Johansson when you've got one of these around the house. Besides, I think Diane Hamilton is sexier than SJ.
Ok, Matt so it’s easy for you to deny the ultimate sexiness of Scarlett Johannsson but I am dwarfed in the presence of her… I’ll stop talking now.
Brian David
PS: You’ve got a point with Diane Hamilton. Damnitall this turns into a evil koan after all.
apparently millions of men, including me. i have one sexy(est) Dakini too. but i don't deny my libido. DEPTH and SPAN apply to libido too. though i don't act on them. you see? my advice, stay away from Aeon :)
p.s. for what it's worth, if Natalie Portman was only more daring, she'll be #2 (next to my Dakini of course). it's hard to pull off a gorgeously bald-headed look and still be sexy. right Brondu?
p.p.s. yes, indeed, Diane Hamilton is sexy. and so is Jessica Alba and that ass-kicking chick in Serenity.
p.p.p.s. Asian babes rule!
I don't know guys… SJ is covered in make-up, and then there's the whole touch-up thing they do to make 'em look better. I prefer real people.
real people use make up. brood upon this.
But not so much… (I said covered). It's all I see when I look at that vf picture of them. Yuck.
Geisha's faces are covered in make up but their souls outshine their physical appearances.
That's totally different. And that was a good movie.
no it's not. you're just bias. call me GREEN. i'll call you PINK.
I'll call you Hatsumomo.
but i love karaoke.
See? She looks pretty ordinary to me… but that's just me, I guess.
And does that picture remind you of someone else??
you don't give up easily do you? beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
You just like that picture because of the luumpz.
BINGO! and then some. and not to mention, RED is good for libido too.
I think you've had enough red for now (or a lifetime)! That “libido” is going to give you insomnia.
not to worry. i've discovered a deadly combo-cure for insomnia. sleeping pills and wasabe will do the trick just fine. but even in the subtle realm, Scarlett Johansson-look-alike is still HOT!
I’m afraid if I say anything with Dandy, Scarlett Johansson, and riding in the same sentence enumclaw will come up. And none of us wants that.
i think i've just proven my point when it comes to HOTNESS. the mere mention of Scarlett Johansson's name catapulted this blog post to my HOTTEST yet. (see the Hot tab on the Browse Posts on the main index of this blog.)
i thank Matthew for unwittingly contributing to this. by his mere ignorance and lack of respect for the Divine Shakti that is encapsulated in the bodymind known as Scarlett Johansson, he elevated this blog post to his own demise. Scarlett rocks! Matthew sucks!
lol. This comment serves merely to cement the SUPER-HOT status of this post. Nothing MORE!
btw, C4 if you want to erase some of my questions from (the new FAQ page on) your main site feel free. I went a little crazy with the prospect of questioning you. My bad. I would have taken some of them back but typepad gave me no choice.
Hey look! This comment had a point after all.
Brian David.
PS: Wouldn’t it be great if we could generate some sort of wild argument at THIS point so that the post goes on to become the HOTTEST thing ever (leaving no room for future-hotter-posts?)
Brondu said: “btw, C4 if you want to erase some of my questions from (the new FAQ page on) your main site feel free.”
no need. i already answered all. so shut the hell up now.
“PS: Wouldn’t it be great if we could generate some sort of wild argument at THIS point so that the post goes on to become the HOTTEST thing ever (leaving no room for future-hotter-posts?)”
great idea!!!
so who do you think is HOTTER, Scarlett Johansson in red, or Natalie Portman's bald head? let's start a Tibetan-style debate on this. can't decide right now. i will brood upon this in my bathroom.
p.s. use your blog to link to this blog post… we'll make this blog post grow and more powerful than UNICRON!
I did it. I’ve linked this thread up . Now people can chime in with their thoughts on which animal will evolve the fastest. I say: horse! Specifically: Dandy!
Also: debate this (although Tibetan-style will be hard in this forum): what will be the ultimate solution to involuntary gross (physical) body death?
Brian David
OH! And about whose hotter between Scarlett and Natalie… well… that’s just crazy. But, uh… uh…. uh…. NATALIE!
Why you ask?
Well it’s quite simple. Natalie would be easier to get to know (Scarlett would be friendly enough @ first contact, but inwardly reserved). Also, I use ‘know’ in a holistic sense, not to say Natalie is sleezy. No, no, no, no. No goddam way.
Brian David
PS: I didn’t even mean to do these back to back commentations. It was a MISTAKE! And yet with every comment the POST gets HOTTER.
I just had a radical thought during centering prayer. lol (very inside joke but if you get it COMMENT on it HERE). It was this: Ken Wilber should get a zaadz account not so he can blog so much as COMMENT. Surely the idea of surfing through thousands of amatuer blogs and writing a word of support or caution appeals to the man! After all, he has not yet denied his humanity.
Brian David.
PS: These three posts in a row were not planned. I swear on… Dandy!
Brondu said,
“OH! And about whose hotter between Scarlett and Natalie… well… that’s just crazy. But, uh… uh…. uh…. NATALIE!
Why you ask?
Well it’s quite simple. Natalie would be easier to get to know (Scarlett would be friendly enough @ first contact, but inwardly reserved).”Well, Natalie's just plain hot, unlike SJ, who needs make-up and digital touch-ups to look half-way decent.
Brondu said, ”Ken Wilber should get a zaadz account not so he can blog so much as COMMENT.”
I like that idea. I would love to see what KW has to say about this or this.
As per Vaskalitis's request, I think dolphins will be the first to talk. I mean, I've already seen one be trained to say “I'm hungry” by making dolphin noises and splashing. That's insane! Coolmel can't even do that!
Brondu said: “I did it. I’ve linked this thread up . Now people can chime in with their thoughts on which animal will evolve the fastest. I say: horse! Specifically: Dandy!”
LOL. i also did it. at first i thought of using the Coffee Cooler, but this is Optimus Megaphone material. so there.
Matthew said: “I like that idea. I would love to see what KW has to say about this or this.”
who the FART cares about what Wilber thinks?!
“That's insane! Coolmel can't even do that!”
watch me grow and become like UNICRON!! then i'll swallow you in a single gulp, wash you down with Red Bull, and spit your bones into the abyss of forgetfulness…
So, coolmel, you want to eat me, do you? Well, this isn't the first time you tried to get kinky with me!
LOL. you're funny. now eat this! ~C (for Cunning like Tinkerbell)
to prolong the wicked debate: Clever Hans (horse) learned how to do math by reading a man’s body language. The man’s body language was so subtle that a room full of twenty scientists could not detect any change in his facial expression or muscle tension. It took them a few years to figure it out. When they discovered the horse was reading body language they were all like, “OMG! Horses are so stupid!”
My point: Dandy will talk first.
I should add that the man doing math with Clever Hans didn’t even know he was giving away the answers. There was NO training involved. God, that’s clever.
Brondu said: “I should add that the man doing math with Clever Hans didn’t even know he was giving away the answers. There was NO training involved. God, that’s clever.”
~W! Brondu dude, you're killing this thread with your g-e-e-k-i-nesssss. let's stay on the topic shall we? i don't even know who Clever Hans is, or was. was she hotter than Natalie? ahh, there goes that RED again…
Yeah, jeez Brondu, take it from coolmel … he's never geeky. Natalie beats Hans.
~W! to you Matthew! ditto on Natalie.
Clever Hans is the sexiest sentient being ever to grace the face of the earth. Ok, that’s not true. After all, I wouldn’t have had sex with him. Or would’ve I? Hmmm…. perhaps I should be alone with my geekiness for a while.
Brian David
PS: natalie digs geeks who don’t wear glasses, are super-skinny, and have loooooong (non) greasy hair. I know because she e-mails me all the time.
Wow, Brondu, you sound like you look like me… Are you also 6'5”? Of course, I didn't have long hair at age 18. I had very short hair due to surgery… kind of like Natalie's in ~V, only in a hot male instead of hot female type of way.
Matthew said: “Wow, Brondu, you sound like you look like me… Are you also 6'5”?”
hmm.. are you sure that you and Brondu are not the same bodymind? i felt suspicious earlier when you blasphemously equated our voluptuous Scarlett with good ole' Dandy.
it's hard to believe this. coz Brondu is much cooler than you. but i guess everything is possible… and so the plot thickens… and yes, i love you both, not in a brokeback way… but more than that, you see?
I would say you feelings for me are more of love/hate than love. If it's any consolation, I have some amount of fondness for you. I do want to see Project Z come to fruition, and I'd love to buy you two dilberitos. But mostly, I just think you're fantastic at assimilating a lot of really cool ideas and communicating them to the world very well while sifting through the nonsense. That being said, DYB!
LOL. holy guacamole! the soundtrack alone kicks. but i still like this effin' kangaroos better. yet during my times of solitude and personal reflection i watch the Little Ninjai. that's kinda my story, you see?
anyway, Project Z is TOAST! i think Project ~C sounds more hip. and i won't tolerate your flattery because this is not the place for brokeback admirations. we're getting out of topic again…
so, we've oogled at Scarlett, we've prostrated at Natalie, and heck we even considered Dandy. but where are the supporters of Diane? i would do it but i'm not the one who got smooched. lucky bastard.
The little ninja's not playing on my computer even though I already have both the media players they keep re-directing me to. As far as between Natalie and Diane, I think it's a toss up, but I guess I'd have to go with Natalie just because she's the only one (of those two) who hasn't kissed me on the cheek yet. After that happens, I think it will just be too close to call.
have you tried this? http://ninjai.atomfilms.com/
Matthew said “As far as between Natalie and Diane, I think it's a toss up, but I guess I'd have to go with Natalie just because she's the only one (of those two) who hasn't kissed me on the cheek yet. After that happens, I think it will just be too close to call.”
anyway, you're lucky because you can form a much more informed opinion. not even Dandy is willing to kiss me. how cruel this life can be?
but before i digress into infinity… don't you think this Scarlett Johansson interview is just so steaaaammmmiiinnggggg HOT?! below is an excerpt.
“While it takes the beautiful actress a while to warm up for this interview, she admits that even had she not filmed The Island, a futuristic thriller in which she plays an adult clone on the run from a high tech cloning facility along with fellow clone Ewan McGregor, admits she is very much pro -stem cell research, a political hot potato. “I think that there's a lot of wonderful possibilities erupting,” the actress explains. “I mean, if they could eliminate diseases like Alzheimer's and polio that would be incredible. On the same note, people may say you're playing with fate or the idea of people creating a master race or being able to choose their children's eye colour - and that seems quite strange to me. However, I think that the positive outweighs the negative.”
i think she just elevated my undying adulation to a whole new level…. i shall brood upon this in my bathroom.
I came late to the party.
But once I bumped into Natalie as I was coming out of Harvard Yard - she was just heading into the yard and it looked like she was carrying a bag of groceries.
No, I literally bumped into her. Bag nearly went flying.
She’s even more beautiful in person, but if it hadn’t been for the beauty mark, I’d never have realized who she was. (Even though I knew who she was and had a crush and all that).
Still took me a couple of steps after we passed for me to recognize her. Now if only I could bump into Scarlett.
Jake said: “But once I bumped into Natalie as I was coming out of Harvard Yard - she was just heading into the yard and it looked like she was carrying a bag of groceries.”
showoff!!! drooooollllll… :P
Was the grocery bag sweating?
ahh…. i want to be a grocery bag in my next life then… not only because of Natalie, of course that's verr importante, but also for the numerous hot mamas at Safeway, Whole Foods, and QFC. ahhh..
anyway, before i digress into infinity, let me interrupt this programming with a joyous status report!
you see, i ingeniously planted the PERMALINK of this thread into none other than one of the most popular blogs to rule them all!!
yes my SJ-NP-DH-drooling friends, i did it. i planted the C4 bomb on The Dilbert Blog.
See for yourself by clicking this sentence.
here's i predict what will happen:
1) this thread will be the most POPULAR ever!
2) this thread will be the HOTTEST ever!
3) Scott Adams will iWET himself laughing at our collective wits, and then he will generously give us free “autographed” Dilberitos from Stacey's Cafe.
4) One of these days, when Scarlett Johansson use Google to look for “Magic Pizza ala Brondu” this thread will be on top of the search results. She will click on it out of sheer curiousity. Then she will notice how cool we are, (yeah) and she will give everyone of us (except Matthew) a wet steaming KISS on ze lips. By then I'm ready to meet my Maker.
now back to our regular scheduled programming.
~C (for Counting on Google)
doh! sorry Brondu I accidentally deleted your original comment… my bad…. the Wizardz will hear from me about this :)
anyway…
Brondu said: “This post won’t get any hotter, ~C4Chaos, because not everyone has a zaadz account. But maybe the sheer coolness of the characters we’re perpetuating in this wick forum will render non-zaazters powerless to resist the drive to apply.”
YOU just made an ASS (pun intended because an ass is some kind of a horse) of yourself by the aforementioned comment. why? because (non)Zaadzsters(yet) can see everything that is blogged! try logging out and clicking this. and CLICK THIS! you see?
“I’m meeting Diane Hamilton tomorrow and because of how sexy we’ve all built her up to be (warranted hype to be sure) I’m having a hard time keeping my cool. DAMN YOU ALL!”
hmmm, you spoke of Diane Hamilton and “hard time” in the same sentence. is that a pun or Freudian Slip? you dirty ASS (pun intended because an ass is some kind of a horse).
please send my regards to Diane. if you know her email, send her the PERMALINK to THIS, so she can use it as example on HOW NOT to do BIG MIND dialectic. word to yo mutha!
~C (for Controller)
I meant this post won’t get HOTTER because nonzaazters WON’T get HOTTER because NON-ZAADZTERS can’t post COMMENTS. CAPITOL letters NOT required to get my POINT across.
lol. hard time. you’re a dirty ass.
I will try and give your regards to Diane. I hope she can assimilate and contextualize a statement like, “Hi Diane, Rommel says to say Hi and that he thinks you’re the sexiest woman alive.” lol. I HAVE THE POWER!
I don’t know her e-mail. Maybe I will after this, though. Maybe I will. And when I do I”ll send her to MY blog and THIS post. Because, after all, this is the kind of thing that concerns her. And by concern I just mean, you know, involves, implicates, indicates, and all that.
Now, lastly, an ass is not some kind of horse you silly ass (like ass as in Lord of the Rings ass so it’s okay to say ass although it loses it’s meaning quite a bit quicker than other words). An ass, equinely speaking, is a DONkeY! I mean come on. COME ON! You link up MY Registered Quarter Horse as if it were A DONKEY? AJLRKEJALRKJEOIJOEIFJOEFJ!! RAndom keys are the only expression I can give to my sheer rage.
I told Dandy what you did and he didn’t care, preocuppied, as it were, with Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book. Oh wait, no, that’s just who I’m seeing this morning.
Brian David
i get you now. how silly of me to doubt your horsey intelligence. i bow. but hear this! we won't stop this thread until our dear SCARLETT JOHANSSON gets DIGGED, dig?
~C (for Can't get Scarlett off my mind)
P.S. tell Diane that i was one of her partners in back-to-back dancing bootylicious rubs when i got iWET in Seattle. and no! when i say iWET i'm not referring to the bodily fluid that gets involuntarily excreted when someone LOLs. ponder on that.
I have pondered just that because I believe it to be verr importante.
Let me step in and END this conversation. Scarlett Johansson makes me want to be a better man. And if she can do that to an Uberman (make me want to overcome myself for the sake of humanity), then that's saying quite a bit!
Yayuh!
Obi said: “Let me step in and END this conversation. Scarlett Johansson makes me want to be a better man.”
YEAH!!! WOOOOT! you go tell em UBER-DUDE! (nice shades. are those Ray Bans?)
what took you so long to defend our poor innocent SCARLETT from the assaults of Matthew? (as you can see i held back on the insults because i'm Matthew's Biatch (for
now))
anyway, your proselytizing will not (yet) END this thread. we end when this thread when it gets Digged, BoingBoing-ed, Slashdotted, and until SCARLETT (or Natalie, or Diane, or better yet, ALL OF THEM) notice us drooling geeks and give us all (more than) pecks on the ze lips!
~C (for Curious stalker)
Does our increasingly obssessive idolization of these beautiful people really warrant a peck on ze lips or more? Doesn’t it it warrant us a scoff and a possible kick in the seeds?
But I suppose it is not mere physicality we lift atop a gloriously ground-level pedestal. Nay forsooth we would seek to holistically acknowledge, integrally acclaim, aqually appreciate the multifaceted, trelayered Divinity in Humanity, Humanity in Divinity that is these tranpersonal singulars. And through that we make them related, by wire (as much as blood), to their fellow men and women. Reclaimed, Rehabilitated, Resumpted, Redeemed; Related once again through us their faceful lovers. Amen.
Brian David
OMG. I think I have to say… This POST is MAMMOTH! MAMMOTHIAN-MASKCARAKA-FRINGFRANG! Which is: large. Big. Huge.
Brondu said :“Does our increasingly obssessive idolization of these beautiful people really warrant a peck on ze lips or more? Doesn’t it it warrant us a scoff and a possible kick in the seeds?”
i was ready to respond with a dirty comment. but when i read your comment again, it said “kick.” my bad. i thought it was something else… must be the seeds.
But uh…..I'd have to say you're on your own with that Diane chick!
Not my cup 'o' tea.
:: Drooling ::
Obi said: “But uh…..I'd have to say you're on your own with that Diane chick!”
BLASPHEMY! i thought you ARE the UBERMAN?! i cry in disappointment. may the BIGMIND buddhas have mercy on your uber-classy-soul.
~C (for Can't believe the Uberman would say that)
I second the outraged bird screech of BLASPHEMY!
Oh man, I have to wash my phone now (because Obi used it last).
Haha. You guys are ridiculous!
I mean, I guess she can be sexy, in a “I'm way closer to enlightenment than you are, despite my boyish haircut” sort of way, but other than that…..
Let's just talk about Scarlett some more.
Mmmmmm
You're just jealous.
Matthew said: “Oh man, I have to wash my phone now (because Obi used it last).”
i know the feeling. so use this Nut Oil. it's anti-Uberman.
Obi said: “I mean, I guess she can be sexy, in a “I'm way closer to enlightenment than you are, despite my boyish haircut” sort of way, but other than that…..”
the NERVE!!! not only BLASPHEMY! it's SACRILEGE^100 (power). you are beyond salvation now Mr. UBERMAN!
i'm sorry but i can't take this anymore (for now). i will just play the blues in my bathroom (yep, that's a plug, and good acoustics in the bathroom too) as sacrifical offering for your Amsterdamned soul!
~C (for Can't take this anymore)